221B is so quiet without John
by gabeugenia
Summary: Sherlock misses John after his marriage and suddenly his friend comes back, hurt, angry and upset.


221B is so quiet without John, his chair is empty and I lying at the couch, lonely, like I was before, like before him. I feel the pain, feel the dark thoughts at my head, telling things, things that I don't want to hear, but they are right. Yes, John abandoned me over her, he choose her, Mary, and I helped him to go away. I told him in so many ways that I totally and completely loved him and he gone anyway, just could be happy with a woman, so I did my best, hide my feelings and let him go. And by now they are expecting a baby. John was so full of happiness that did not visit me anymore.

I was alone with wild thoughts in my head when then I heard hurry steps over the stairs and somebody knocks very fast at the door.

\- Go away! – I shouted to the door.

\- Sherlock, please, it's me, John!

My heart stopped to beat a little. It was him, John was here! I run to the door open wildly. John was a mess, a mix of angry and upset, with a paper between his shaking hands. Something was wrong, very wrong and he discovered that too soon.

\- It's not mine, the baby it's not mine Sherlock! – he cries – What am I gonna do?

All his body is shaking now, he looks so little and miserable looking for that piece of paper that I step and give him a hug.

His smell is so clean and lovely, his body is so strong and full with scars. This man suffered so much in life and when he found happiness it's suddenly taken away from him. Not again, and immediately know that Mary would take the consequences of hurting John.

\- John, calm down and sit, I will make some tea.

He obeys me and sit down, looking through the window. I came back with two mugs of Earl Grey tea and milk, I give him one and ask:

\- Now tell me what happened.

He sighs and say:

\- Some weeks ago I discovered that Mary was cheating on me… with a man at her work. They were lovers before Mary and I marry but he gone away, then he came back and we both know what happened. We had a big fight and decided to get divorced after she have the baby. But today she told me that made a paternity test and I wasn't the father, for sure.

John looked down, so sad, so hurt. I wanted to kill Mary at that right moment but John needed me first, not as I needed him, but enough.

\- Well, obviously that you can move back here, I will ask Mrs. Hudson to clean the upstairs bedroom and you can use some of my clothes.

He agreed with the head and said nothing. After the arrangements and dinner he up to sleep but the night just had started, Mary had to leave London now, and by tomorrow Europe if she wanted to live long enough.

I get into the office of the most powerful man in all England and lock the door.

\- Brother, dear, I am really surprised to see you around!

\- Mycroft, you hardly are surprised, obviously you knew that I was here before cross the street myself.

Mycroft smirks; we both know that he is clever but don't mean that I can't bother him sometimes.

\- So, the meaning of your visit is? - he asks.

\- What do you know about Mary Watson?

Mycroft up his eyebrows, put his hand together and sigh before answer.

\- A lot, but you and John decided to know only the necessary, her files are empty and what she done before is inaccessible.

\- Brother, we both know that's not quite true. Information is what makes you so important to the Country and the King and you don't erase anything.

\- Queen! Sherlock, England has a Queen, not a King! – He says annoyed.

I wait for the right answer.

\- I can't give you anything, somebody has to get the dirty job, Mary did and we have to protect these kind of people. Now tell me, why the interest with Mary's behavior? Why now?

\- She cheated on John, the baby isn't his and you… You will make Mary go away from London and never come back.

\- Sherlock, dear, you know how hard that can be? She is a killer that worked to the Government! We have a lot to lose if she talks. I can't always clean the mess.

\- You will and right now, you're not stupid…I want Mary, the baby and the bloody man she fucks out of London this very night!

Suddenly I realized that I shouted. Mycroft looks at me not surprised but… delighted, that's the right word.

\- So you discovered your feelings for the soldier, Sherlock?

I looked angrily at him.

\- Shut up… Shut up or this time mummy will really get upset with my behavior about your head.

Mycroft touched his head, probably reminding when I was seven years old and hit his head with a golf stick. And then he smiled.

\- The Virgin and the Soldier, that could be a great story! But don't worry Sherlock, your love rival will be out of London in four hours, I promise.

I give him a little smile and get up the chair, when I'm passing through the door I hear he saying:

\- Don't screw it up, brother of mine.

The days passed by like before, John helping with me with the cases and being my roommate again, but something changed, he was quiet and sometimes I heard him cry alone. And I really tried to give him space, like normal people do at these situations but all I wanted was to hug and kiss him…kiss him hard and make everything better. I also felt guilty, if I had told to John about fake my death he would not go to another's arms.

I was at an experiment with fingers, citric acid and methamphetamine at the kitchen when Lestrade slammed the door.

\- Well, the good manners are gone for good – I say and sip my tea.

Lestrade follow my voice and he is very scared, shaking, probably didn't have time to smoke his emergency cigarette.

\- What now? - I ask.

\- It's John, he tried to suicide, he is at the hospital, very bad.

Oh my… My head isn't working, all I can barely realize is Lestrade putting me into the police car and driving me to the hospital.

He cannot die, please, he can't… All I want, all I need, with he go down I sure go with him. I never believed in God, but I found myself praying hard for something, someone, I can't lose him, not again, not before tell him the truth.

We arrived at St. Bart and gone to the room; he was there, with tubes everywhere… that was horrible; they told that he pulled off the rooftop of St. Bart, and was a miracle that the was still alive. His chest was very damaged and his head was concussed, but he would be fine, with time.

One week passed and John didn't wake up, I stood as much that I could next him, taking care, holding his hand, crying and begging him to come back. I never begged for nothing before, but I would for John Watson.

\- Please, please, wake up – I begged next him, as I did a thousand times before, and kissed him at the lips.

\- Sherlock? – I heard his low voice. John was definitely awake...

Two weeks after he woke up he could come back home with me, we never told anything about the kiss and I realized that he didn't remembered it. John Watson probably would never know about that and for me and the circumstances would be totally fine. At the hospital we didn't really talked about the suicide thing, I was waiting to discuss that at home and the day came.

John was sitting at his chair at 221B again and I couldn't believe how fantastic it was but we also knew that a hard time was hitting the door.

\- John… - I started.

He looked up to my face.

\- Don't, Sherlock, I don't want to talk about that. It's my life, if I want to take it away I will.

My heart stopped for a second, what?

\- Your fool, idiot! What the hell are you talking about? Do you think nobody cares? Is it? – I shout

\- No, no one. I would say you but you don't feel a shit for anyone. – he said angrily.

I grab a vase at the desk and break it at the wall. It's exasperating, he makes me do this.

\- Stupid, stupid, stupid! I CARE ABOUT! I always cared, I love you damn Watson, can't you see?

\- What? – he looked chocked and confused – That's why you kissed me at St. Bart?

He remembered, oh my…


End file.
